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Bite Through My Tongue

from How To Disappear by Casey

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lyrics

Another year around the sun in search of
Anything to pacify the numbing belief
That irrespective of how our time was spent
Or what solace we were graced by friends
It all amounted to nothing in the end.

You’d always watch me as I’d ideate
Diazepam and dulling ache

Open eyed, I stare at the mirror and drive my teeth straight through my tongue
It’s so torpefying knowing that one day your life will be forgotten

In the spaces between my discomfort and grief
I had nothing to offer to help you to sleep

No question ever conjured up enough detail to reconstruct
The trust that you felt I had broken; shallow cuts for doubt to soak in.

Now I don’t think of you in apathy (You’d always watch me as I’d ideate)
Now I don’t think of you in apathy.
Now I don’t think of you in apathy (Diazepam and dulling ache)
I don’t think of you at all.

Open eyed, I stare at the mirror and drive my teeth straight through my tongue
It’s so torpefying knowing that one day your life will be forgotten
And I can’t help but feel like I’m to blame,
But if it hurt that much then why did you stay?

In the spaces between my discomfort and grief, I had nothing to offer to help your sleep
Surrender to bed, silk scarves at the wrists. An apostle for malediction.
Yarn for the tapestry, woven in anger. Rage for the sake of it, stuck on repeat.
No heaven ever equal to your skin, but no Hell like the wrath that lay beneath.

Open eyed, I stare at the mirror and drive my teeth straight through my tongue
It’s so torpefying knowing that one day your life will be forgotten

You’ll be forgotten.

But if it hurt so much then why did you stay?
But if it hurt so much then why did you stay?

credits

from How To Disappear, released January 12, 2024

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Casey Wales, UK

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